Assumption is the Mother of All Misunderstanding

June 14th- Happy Flag Day 

 

Photo: Alan DiBiase

Greetings friends and family, fans and foes alike. I sincerely hope this tumultuous period in our lives is nearing an end and that better days are here now.

Though we are still far from an end to strife exemplified by a rise in the usual amount of senseless gun violence and air travel passengers behaving badly, I engage in a new and concerted wave of reflection on the complex root cause of our troubles. This brings me to the title of this missive.

For myself I believe in the goodness of people. I assume the best. This may sound naive, but naiveté may be underrated. As I have stated before, what we say and how we say it are very powerful forces in the creation of perception. There is a reason magic spells, spoken incantations, and prayer remain intrinsic parts of our everyday lives.

I have always thought there is more good in the world than bad and that is how we keep chaos at bay. Perhaps now that formula no longer works effectively as it may have in the past. Is it because presently we no longer assume a person is a “good person?” Are we jumping to judgement in a negative way based on our own narrowing? Are we all at once mad as hell and not taking it anymore?

 

Brene Brown says, “I’m not good enough,” looks the same as “I’m better than you.” Meaning, for me, that trying to tell what a person is really about while looking at them solely from the outside is impossible. That there are those of us silently struggling with how to be better unbeknownst to observers who only see a facade. Especially in these days of outward aggression both in thought and deed where folks are facing off with each other clad in armor so dense, no amount of compassion is allowed to penetrate. Now, more than ever, it seems so easy to be misunderstood.

 

This is why I choose to dwell in my naiveté and continue to believe that every person has goodness in them and that my negative judgement does nothing to coax that goodness to the surface. There are millions, if not billions of reasons to be defensive these days. Saying "I understand" is not enough. Exploring the reality of another person’s point of view may make me uncomfortable. With practice, though, my healing muscles may strengthen. Do I make myself vulnerable to hurt? Yes, I do. It is the risk I assume for myself. I choose to deal with my discomfort by acknowledging it is not caused by external forces, but by my own powerful choice to open my heart to the totality of the world. We must not allow, under any circumstances, for this discomfort to blind us in the face of true evil. We must not let rage cloud our imaginations. Imagination, I believe, is one of the tools of true empathy. As my good friend and mentor, Allan DiBiase recently wrote:

 “Regardless of age, one must be able to imagine evil and if there is no place for it in one’s imagination one will become subject to it.”

My friends, loved ones, and yes, my foes, our words have the power to heal. Please assume that when you think of me. And especially when you hear or read my words. 

 

Happy solstice! Everyone! Look for my next post in July.