Edge of Winter

For some reason unbeknownst to me, our one scrub oak will not release its leaves all winter. It does provide relief for fall raking and mulching...but in  early Spring time, I get to gather these holdouts at last.

THE FEAST OF SAINT PATRICK

Today I remember a grandfather whom I never knew since he passed this day in  1956.

 He would have agreed, I am certain, we are now living through strange times.

We shall share our resourcefulness, we shall come together, and we shall win.

Bless us all and keep us safe from harm.

In memory of all pictured...we love you now and forever.

Happy Solstice

Guggenheim Museum, NYC

Ransom notes on my tumultuous thoughts:

The status quo must be challenged. I get frustrated with polls that claim people over 40 are "set in their ways."

The status quo must be challenged, not with war, but with imaginative compromise (NOT a dirty word!) The state of a two party system that has folks digging in their heels in their respective camps is obsolete and self-destructive.

Why can't we take the best of both systems, combine and consolidate them and move forward? I ask this not as a liberal or conservative. Not a member of any association, club, political party, sect, cult, or religion. I ask this as a concerned citizen of the world.

These systems were invented by humans! They can be remade and evolve to meet present and future needs. Studying how this can be done effectively and efficiently must become our collective priority.

We must join hands--left and right, not in hopeful prayer, but in faith that we can do this. Together.

There is no taking arms against this rising sea of troubles. Winning and losing belong on fields of play in sports arenas and at the gambling table. The future is far too important for game playing.

Wishing all Joy and Peace

Mark D. Ransom

Snug

We had to say goodbye to him, he was suffering so.
 It made us cry to have to let him go.
We poured a lot of love on him over the long long years.
Now we remember him
with laughter, song
And tears

This cat has soul. Wisdom. Above all he taught me about unconditional love the way cats only know.

 Brooklyn

 Back home to the land of his birth, North Carolina.

We had to let him go this week. He was suffering terribly with his IBS. Thank you all who took the time and got to know him. We thank you from the heart where this kitty will reside forever.

Remembering E. Katherine Kerr

I am probably not alone in continuing to process the recent passing of our friend and mentor, E. Katherine Kerr. I am still finding her voice, her gentle, yet firm touch regarding work in my memory, in my journals, on the walls of our yoga room...

Dolphins were a big part of her life, and ours too. What follows is one of the electronic recordings I made of her impact on us. This class would have taken place in Manhattan. The play performance referenced was one we did, Jen-Scott and I, and probably the last time we were in class together.

The "closure" referenced here is very personal for us. The "agency" referred to is something we willingly and trustingly gave up for the sake of a play.         

E.K.'s advice taught me that communicating my thoughts is not an assault on authority, but a way to honor the creative process. I will be forever in her debt for so many things.

 
From my on-line journal:

June 7, 2007

Closure.  Jennifer and I both attended E. Katherine Kerr’s class last night.  It turned out to be a much more moving and rewarding experience than I’d first imagined.  At the outset, I did not want to go.  My resistance was palpable.  However, I took the opportunity to do my monologue from the play directly to Jennifer, instead of out to the audience as I had done in performance.  The result was closure for me, I finally got to say this to her and have her respond, have myself respond in a realistic, human way.  At last, I feel at peace and finished...  Jennifer got closure (I hope) as well.  We did the opening scene the way she felt it could have worked.  She expressed her repressed self...for the first time. 

 E.K. was most passionate in her support that we never let anyone under any circumstances take our “presence” away.  She was adamant and as clear as I’ve ever seen her, seated on the very edge of her chair very firmly declaring we must never let someone take our agency.   It was a powerful and extraordinary experience, one I’m so glad to have witnessed.  Katherine also went on to use this instance to highlight the altruism that we learn much more from difficulty and distress than we do with ease. 

EK had the gift, and we were blessed to have received from her the comfort and benefit of her insight.

Mining the Past

This morning I found the text of my old web log. Here is an excerpt:

And after September I finally went back to Yoga.

5/7/05

Taking a Look

 Step into a booth

Slip a dollar in the slot

Curtain opens come on baby

Show me what you’ve got

I’m young and I’m lonely

I can feel the blood in my vein

Got a rock in my hand

Nowhere to hide my shame

Cold sun rising over a pile of ruins

I look at myself and ask

“What am I doin’? ”

Step out of sunlight

Into shade

Take a sip from the cup

Of coffee I made

Lookin’ down the long pipe

Of my father’s gun

Longin’ for simple days

Of being his son

Come to another door

Slip key into lock

Curtain opens come on baby

Show Daddy what you bought

Cold sun rises over a pile of ruins

I take a look at myself

“Hey buddy, how am I doin’?”

If a man lives long enough

He gets to play it all

Spring, Summer Winter

Comes after fall

I think of mother

Get a chill to my bone

It’s true what they say

You can never go home

Cold sun rises over a rubble heap

I take a look at myself

Never Forget- Knowingly, Purposefully, Selflessly

It has been 18 years. Personally, I will never forget.

However, what I choose to remember may not be the same for me as others. There are those who choose to remember only what “they” did to us. True, there are things I saw that day I will never be able to “un-see.” Nightmarish images, not from any television or movie. Scenes of death and destruction which are the very cause of PTSD.

Still, those inexplicable tragic memories are not what I choose to dwell on. I will always remember what “WE” did in response. I vow to remember, honor, and praise the victims. People who didn’t know what hit them. People of all backgrounds, occupations, and faiths.

Honor, praise, and remember the heroes who knowingly, purposefully, and selflessly ran into danger. I remember how we were galvanized with a sense of duty, not just New Yorkers, not just fire fighters and police; every one of us.

I remember crowds of people lining West Street waving and cheering all the police and fire vehicles as they moved to and from ground zero. Countless gatherings, fundraisers, programs, and institutions started and invested with the mission of healing. I remember a can-do spirit where everyone had his or her hands out to aid, comfort, rescue, recover, and restore. The most common phrases I remember were “what do you need?” and “how can I help you?” I remember an outpouring of grief and support from the entire planet. How very faraway that unity seems to me now.

From my brief hours on a bucket brigade, to long and weary tedium of overnight shifts in the command center, I became one with people working as part of a solution to mind boggling crisis. I will never forget the dedication, and willful sacrifice made by soldiers. I will never forget the love.

This is my third 9/11 away from New York City. My first was to attend Dad’s funeral in 2008. The past two I have been here, in my new home, yet I realize now that I will always and forever be a New Yorker.

I will never forget the people. Those I am blessed to have met and worked alongside during our darkest hours. I want to thank them for their service. My personal choice on how to combat what “they” tried to do is to make sure I participate with good faith in creating and maintaining the kind of America in which we can all take part.

In brief, I will ever choose to remember the good brought out in each of us during a time of great adversity. Remember the steady leadership of those who would not let hate define us, who would not allow division to usurp our humanity.