Feeling really out of sorts lately. I am trying to figure out how to proceed with my "second act". I've given my self the freedom to do nothing, to loaf, to be lazy, to miss dad, my childhood, my youth. I nap a lot. I love to cook dinner for my wife, my family and our friends. My mom actually let me take her out to dinner on Easter Sunday. She let me pay and everything. It was amazing.
One constant has been the poetry. I am trying something new, a lttle new for me, just going ahead and free writing and maybe trying to figure it out later. Or maybe not figuring it out at all, ever. I put together things from here and there inspired by this and that. I even composed a verse in my sleep one night. I'm going with it. Here's something:
When things fall down
When things collapse
When April feels like October
Wet, cold, and dark
When I miss you
When my world ends
When worlds collide
When cars go crash
When you deny
Your denial
Like a crack of the lash
Paranoia of perfection
Image in the bathroom glass
Is not mine, not me
My wind chimes sing
Of wind and rain
The hardware on the flag pole
Clangs now and again
Busses and trucks hiss
And whoosh
People hurry by slicker-ed and umbrella-ed
When lives diverge
When language
Will not serve
When cruel seasons
Binge and purge
Another cold spring.
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