Silent Night

There is so much advice my friend Paul, my spiritual brother, has given me over the years. He counseled me against getting tattoos, for example, and I always disagreed with. However, I think he was right in that he made me wait long enough to figure out just what I want permanently inked onto my skin. I don't want some high art or naked women, skulls with cross bones or even a heart that says "Mother". I want the Pythagorean Theorem. I want Pie. I want the mathematical expression for "Bubbles of Perception" inscribed in fiery letters of the Phoenix onto my back. My friend is exploring the spiritual realm, his body so paper thin that if you touch it it may tear. The hope and the prayer is that he has made the choice to stay with us here in the physical world a bit longer and that his rebirth will bring robust life back into his limbs so soon we will be hugging him once more. As light is re-born on the Solstice, so will Rebhan re-emerge from the ashes of Chemo-therapy. The blizzard of '09 has brought a moment of muffled Peace and quiet to our metropolis, reducing us to a compendium of small towns and villages, and households waiting for loved ones to arrive home from work. The chains on snowplow tires ringing like sleigh bells. Happy Solstice every one.

Hubba, Hubba

We had an awesome time at the shoot last Saturday. Nothing went as planned and we still got some awesome shots. Thank you to our lovely models who braved rainy weather and all kinds of setbacks to soldier through with great professional performances. Last weekend was very emotional for me. Shoot on Saturday, work Saturday night...and then to the fond farewell for a man who is no less than my professional father: John "Jack" Meade. I would not be putting food on my table without his influence in my life. He also supported my theatrical ambitions with sincere interest and passion as one who understood the value of the stage and how all the world is one. On this stage Jack is a leading character. A family man, a Union man, and a stand-up guy. I am overwhelmed by his generosity, and his families, to have been invited to say goodbye. This was no tearful wake, but a joyful celebration with a live band and near 200 people.

"It's not how many breaths you take in life, but the moments in life that take your breath away." Jack Meade.

As I left the party, my breath was indeed, taken away at how fortunate I was to have met Jack. I got to tell him and his wife Anna, that I loved them.

The Ace of Pentacles is the foundation for all kinds of projects in the real world; this foundation is as valuable as gold, and as solid as concrete. It is the cornerstone of a building that might stand for decades, or crumble to dust after a few years - this is determined by how the rest of the structure is put together. The Ace of Pentacles is not the promise of long-lasting financial and material security that some might expect, but it is the sign that such things are within your reach. It gives you the resources to go in search of higher goals.


What a challenging weekend is ahead of me. Today a dream is about to come true, a dream of creating the best possible art using the very finest of raw materials. The prospect of once again creating something lasting and meaningful gives my life purpose. And the fact that I can involve the people I love and who love me is the only way for me to get through it. This is how the weekend begins...alas it ends not with a wake, but with a celebration of a man's life. I can not say enough about Jack Meade. He was a guide and mentor to me when I was young and in need of direction. We shared many interests. He showed me that there are men of honor and pride everywhere. He is a father, a husband, a leader whose influence has touched millions, though not many know it. As with my friend Paul getting set to go the fourth and final round of chemo, Jack has given me the tools and inspiration to go forward and deal with a life out of balance and bring some equilibrium into the world. And I am not alone, there is a little card reading angel whispering into my ear: "Look up! The Great Work Begins!" Thank you Mystical Marcy! I am present to the possibilities.





"The verb "to temper" means to modify or strengthen by adding a new component to an existing substance or mixture, and this broad definition can be applied to many areas of your life. But all applications of Temperance share the common theme of moderation and balance, culminating in the creation of a centered and well-rounded being."

Thanksgiving 2009

Windows open and windows close. This was last night as we drove through Times Square toward our next stop on West 45th Street. This city never ceases to amaze me, even after 51 years. I've been told 5 is one of my prime numbers, so this being my 5th decade on Earth, I feel like a good ten years are ahead! I have so much to be thankful for: my friends, my wife, my family, my good fortune to be employed by the greatest city in the world...and our cat! Going for a nap now, Paul is home from the hospital...again! One more round of chemo to go. Thinking of him too, and thankful he is still around. Another friend and mentor of mine is not faring so well. My prayers and thoughts are with him and his family as they face the final curtain.

Miracle Manifestation

The Star

Miracle Manifestation,

My first royalty check came in this week from the sale of my book: After September. I will be donating $58.80 to the National 9/11 Memorial at the World Trade Center. May it be the first of many. Thank you all for your support, for those thinking of holiday gifts...give the gift poetry (tax deductible!).

The Hierophant

Let Me Down Easy

We, me, Jen and Routh, went to see Anna Deavere Smith last night in Let me Down Easy at 2nd Stage. There was a bit about a boxer getting knocked out. I had flashbacks to The Knitting Factory many years ago and my own solo performance as a boxer who gets knocked out and does not remember how it happened. This one woman tour-de-force takes on Cancer, Health Care Reform, Life, Death and aging in a 95 minute channeling of 20 individuals. Among them a former Tour-de-France champion battling cancer, a supermodel, a bull rider injured on the job, a TV movie critic dieing of cancer, (even a woman who does one person performances!), all interviewed by Smith who impersonates them verbatim with a skill that lives up to her reputation. Last night at our post show discussion over cocktails in the Film Center Café the question I posed was: “How do we grow old in America now?” For me I can find some great salvation in my work, a reason to live, so I can put this poetry out in hopes that it will inspire others to keep going and face the brutality of our darker natures with luminous offerings of Peace. However, in a culture that seems to value the violent, the young and the beautiful, it seems an up hill battle. The only thing we can do is:

Keep fighting. Thinking of all my loved ones in physical difficulty: Keep fighting. To my loved ones who stand up in front of crowds of people to deliver messages of hope: Keep talking.

Agent Provocateurs

To my friend and Agent Provocateur about to subject himself to another round of trial and error...I salute you. Our thoughts and prayers continue for you and for your friends and family near and dear, keep the strength!

We saw the film "Precious" yesterday with our friends Kelly and Jill, and it is as brutally an honest portrait of urban-American life in the late 1980's as I have ever seen. Raw and powerful, unapologetic and disturbing, real life artfully depicted.