This
came to me last night as I was nodding off to sleep. The “Honor” I seek is not
that which can be denoted by awards or even recognition, but through a
reckoning that I have kept my word, and my faith to the ideals I hold to be
dear and necessary for not only myself, but for all to thrive.
It
becomes increasingly more difficult to say I am living honorably if I continue
to deny there is inequity and injustice in the world by turning an indifferent
eye to my privilege and the struggle of others. This is what saying “Black
Lives Matter” means to me. It means I have left my comfort zone of living with
the spoils of imperial colonization and genocide to acknowledge, with as much
grace as I can, the worth and value of all people. Especially those who have
suffered the most at the hands of those looking and sounding exactly like me.
Saying
Black Live Matter doesn’t imply they matter more than anyone else’s does. It is
not a way of establishing hierarchy.
Quite the opposite. It eliminates the notion that top down listing of
whose life is more valuable than any another based on race is fair. A
system which by no means is a just and humane way for society to progress.
For
a long time I dug into that inescapable corner. Feeling attacked in a way, feeling directly
blamed for atrocities committed long before my parents were born. My reticence
to flip the script was in and of itself, a symbol of my complicity in a system
rigged to favor me to the detriment of others on the bases of skin color.
I
feel I have been liberated since turning my gaze inward and recognizing my own
chain. I have freed myself form the yoke of misconception. With this liberation
comes great pain. For I turn to face a mass of people with whom I have shared
this planet all my life. Some of whom are my family and once considered me a
friend. With still other friends who have always bonded with me and have not changed
their opinion of me I see every stage and step of their struggle to live
honorably in a dishonorable world.
History
is fraught with blood and brutality. The present and future are ours to
influence. I choose not to ignore my responsibility to that gift. To quote something I came to a long time ago:
“Responsibility
starts with saying you are cause in the matter.
Responsibility
is not burden, fault, praise, blame credit, shame, or guilt. In responsibility,
there is no evaluation of good or bad, right or wrong. There is simply what’s
so, and your stand.
Being
responsible starts with the willingness to deal with a situation from the point
of view that you are the generator of what you do, what you have and what you
are. That is not the truth. It is a place to stand.
No
one can make you responsible, nor can you impose responsibility on another. It
is a grace you give yourself—an empowering context that leaves you with a say
in the matter of life.”
Though
I have always supported and defended the cause for social, moral, and ethical
justice, I will admit to being at first taken aback by protests of the national
anthem when they began. In those heady moments, I was forced to open my heart,
and embrace my own demons with a compassionate and critical eye. Though I may
have come late to the practice of speaking my mind and making it clear to all
my thoughts and feelings about what needs to happen in order for us to join and
move forward, I am no longer on the sidelines of this, the longest and greatest
battle we will ever face. It is a battle we cannot afford to lose. It is a
battle which will not be won with bloodshed. A clear indicator of failure will
be just that.
It
pains and puzzles me to hear young people accuse those such as myself openly joining
this cause of “jumping on the bandwagon.” As if the many millions and millions supporting change in the name of racial justice are only now interested because it has become “trendy.”
It would almost seem as if they are creating a hierarchy of who is a better patriot. That the cancel culture is cancelling the very thing they wish to cultivate.
It is disturbing to see tactics used by those who oppose what
we fight employed by those who believe in justice. My question for all who think along such
lines:
Is
there no way to dismantle systemic racism without creating and
installing a new one?
Or
to put it simply: How do we defeat the racists without becoming them?
Thank you for taking the time to read thus far.
Love and Peace to all.